Unfortunately it is not uncommon for your child, regardless of their age, to be bullied. A bully in school or neighborhood can be a nightmare for a child. They can affect a child’s mental health. They can shatter their self-esteem and self-confidence.
In today’s world, our children are stuck on their mobile screens and as they get older it is not possible for us to stop them from using the internet. Children nowadays can get bullied on the internet in social media. They can be shamed, made fun of and often suffer in silence. For a child sometimes being shamed or laughed at can mean end of the world. Even as adults it may not be a big deal for us. We have to see it from a child’s perspective.
A bullied child is too afraid to open up to adults, especially their parents. Afraid that parents will be disappointed. Afraid nobody will be able to help. Afraid that their siblings may laugh at them and judge them. Afraid that they are causing great deal of pain and trouble to their parents who are already stressed.
Parents are also to blame, when we quarrel with each other, we assume our kids do not listen and absorb our words. Saying things like “I work all day just to pay bills” or “life is not easy” . All our negative things and frustrations affect our children and when it comes time to talk to their parents, they think that their parents are already up to their necks with stress and they don’t want to be a trouble maker.
Signs of bullying.
- If your child has any bruises that he or she does not explain well.
- If your child is reclusive, avoiding certain situations like going to school or a group activity.
- If your child is not sleeping or eating well.
- If your child has bad moods and is temperamental
What can you do?
- Be a good listener and do not judge : It is easy to tell your child to fight back, But again you are not looking at it from kid’s perspective. It is the same as your friend telling you to fight back with your boss. It is easy to say, but there are many things that as an outsider you don’t understand. So listen to your child, share an experience with them, let them think that they are not the only ones who experience this. You or your friends have gone through these things.
- Talk to teachers : Talk to the teacher or a school official who handles such cases, ask them what actions have been taken and follow up the progress.
- Talk to their parents : Assess the situation and see if it might be good to talk to bully’s parents if you know them or know of them, and let the bully know that you are aware of the situation and things cannot be hidden.
- Teach them to stand up for themselves : Last but not least, yes it feels and works great if your child can stand up to a bully and fight back. But asking your child to this right away is not sensible. It is of most importance to restore your child’s self belief and self confidence and address his or her fears. Maybe her or she is afraid to look bad in front of other friends. Maybe your child is afraid they will harm him or her outside school or gang up. Or perhaps the child is afraid of internet bullying and being named and shamed. You have to understand and address their concerns and then let them know, that it is not end of the world.Do a few things before you ask them to go out and confront anyone.
– Spend quality time : Looking at your phone while your children are playing is not quality time. You watching a movie with them is not quality time. Quality time is you doing something together, cooking a dish, doing a project, making a tree house, fixing broken stuff, making a toy out of scratch, brainstorming together and helping them write a simple essay or a story. Do something that builds communication.
– Exercise together : Well you could use some exercise yourself, why not take your child with you for a jog, or to a park where you can do some push ups, stretching or throw some ball on a regular basis.
-Expand their social circle : It is not a bad idea for them to join a sports class, where they can learn how to play in a team. Learn some comradery and sportsmanship. Be physically active and perhaps they will find out that they are interested in sports if put in a right environment. Remember many times kids do not show interest in sports because they are judged by their peers when they are not as good. They feel inferior and they hide behind a mask of not being interested. But if you do put them in an environment where they are encouraged and complimented their interest develops. Overall it is good for your children to know more kids and have friends in different places like, sports classes, schools, relatives, neighbors, etc. This makes them feel more accepted and good friends help each other overcome difficulties and even confront bullies together.
I hope you found this article helpful. Please feel free to contact us for an innovative sports class for your child in Hong Kong.
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